she loved him.
 
she loved him like she loved no other
she gave him her everything.
she gave him all she had but it wasn’t enough.
she gave him what she was
she gave him who she was
but maybe everything she gave him
just was not what he wanted.
 
she talked of marriage to him before
when they were still together
they talked of love and of babies
of homes and of places
they talked of what they would do
and when and why and how
 
a yellow cottage in Ireland
just two stories high and a basement
a balcony overlooking their backyard
and a porch looking out to the open roads
a kitchen made for them
and the cottage built for eight
 
a trip to japan
to see the yellow sakura tree
the flowers blooming and falling
the petals swaying and dancing
to see the gundam statue
as tall as a building
and to see everything and anything as they please
 
to go fishing on a boat
to go caming in the woods
to see her favorite movie
and to cook him his favorite dish
 
to make love for the first time
sweet and deep
passionate and loving
wonderful and pleasurable
 
their wedding so grand
their wedding so small
their wedding just for them
so full of hopes and dreams
with sakura petals all around
and the song of Kenny G….
 
then her hopes and dreams
her fantasy
broke into pieces when he said
he was gonna leave
he said he was impatient
he said he couldnt wait
and when everything was done with
he let her be…
 
yet he came back to her
she accepted him fully
he was still with her though
but even though he was
she still loved him truly
with her heart still full
 
they talked
they loved
they remembered everything
they wanted more..
but couldn’t
 
he said it’s cuz he loved her too
he said it’s cuz she lived closer
it’s cuz she was what he wanted
and that’s why he couldn’t take her back
 
a year of suffering
a year of pain
a year of watching him love her
and not coming back
she begged for him once…
even got on her knees
how she was so low..
she knows it was for love
 
her heart was constantly in pain
constantly being stabbed
the knife just digging deeper
twisting.. turning.. killing..
her mind was being taken
going insane
images of her blood
images of her death
 
but she knew she wanted him
she knew he wanted her
she knew that if she stayed strong
maybe he’ll finally give in
finally come back…
finally love her again
 
then… he broke up with her
that other girl..
he broke with the other… for another
 
he knew that she loved him!
he knew she needed him, wanted him
he knew…
he knew how she felt
he knew..
 
he broke up with the flower
not for someone he loves more
but for someone he loves less
for someone who doesn’t love him
as much as she does…
no one could love him as much as she does…
 
it broke her.
it killed her.
he had finally finished what he started
a year ago..
he had finally killed her
he caused her the pain
he caused he the anguish
and now that he killed her…
 
maybe he finally felt triumph.
 
she gave him everything
left but her soul
but now that she was gone..
he was really..
all that she lived for..
 
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