it hurts… being so close… having the ones right there in front of you just to see their backs turned to you and yet a hand reaching out. it feels like you cant touch it, you’re reaching for them but you just can’t touch them… it hurts so bad to be so close… so damn close… it hurts even more to love so much. to know love. to experience the true meaning of love and the true meaning of pain… how can it be?! why… why… why must one feel such pain to experience love.. when it comes down to it… s/he might not choose you and that fact alone… is what kills.
it’s so painful.. the hope, the rising hope that makes you smile and have faith. then you turn to her/him and see that s/he doesn’t care… or the fact that s/he does hurt even more! why then.. why must you suffer. you, who gave everything. you, who fell in love and got nothing in the end. s/he chose the other person…does that mean you weren’t enough? does that mean you couldn’t be enough? or worse… does that mean s/he didn’t love you as much as you thought or wanted?…
one can’t stop the pain from spreading… from starting at the heart and spreading to the rest of your body. it’s not your fault… alright, it is.. it’s all your fault. admite it. you let it get to you–the love… and therefore the pain. it was your fault, all yours. not his, not hers, not anyone’s but yours… your foolishness, your stupidity, your insecurity and your pathetic self. it was all your fault, just admit it and let it go… cuz in the end s/he had alraedy let you go to.