i feel this pain: a crushing.something pushing my chest down even more.
i dont know.. everytime i breathe, everytime i take a breath, it hurts. this thing inside of me.
with each passing second, i feel as if a splinter is trying to get inside
trying to pound through my chest and push me down lower.. and lower..
it feels like it won’t be satisfy until i can’t feel anything anymore..
and as the sharpness deepen, i can feel the tears in my eyes
as if i’m about to cry.. but i don’t know why.
i can feel my head splitting and the wound in my chest
digs more and more.. and everytime it digs, like dirt, i’m losing something.. a piece of something..
what is it?
what is this agony? why do i feel it?… i don’t want to..
these love songs i hear, it piles on top of the shovel, pushing even more. why?!
this.. this thing.. this thing inside of me.. the thing i can no longer feel
no longer make sure of.. do i still have it? why?…
it was killed already… so why is it that i can still feel this suffering?
and there it is… the tears… the tears i’ve been so desperately trying to avoid..
they fall without permission.. they fall still even after i wipe them away..
why? they shouldn’t. they have no right to fall, no right to come upon my face..
i’m not weak.. i’m not. i don’t want to cry so why should i need to? i don’t… so why can’t i stop?
"it takes a certain something to stop it. . . it doesn’t take time. . . "
that’s what i was told… so what is that something? cuz i can’t take it anymore…
time.. time… time… why does time go on then? if it doesn’t heal our wounds?
"it’ll take time for you to heal…" lies… lies… lies.. if it’s not time, then what is it?
what can i do to stop this torment? what can i do so that i can’t feel the pressure upon my chest?
what can i do so i can finally breathe right again?
i only want to know one thing though…….