Sweetums

What is your heart saying? What is it telling you?

Those ill-scarring feelings

Have they gone away?

I remember the words you used to say

I remember the words I used to believe in

I remember so much because so much has happened

And yet, I don’t regret a single thing

I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused

I’m sorry if it feels like I’ve strung you along

But know that all of it was always true

And I was more than loyal to you

I loved you with a passion

As burning as the wild, red flame

I loved you with my all

As real as the stabbing pains

The love we used to have

                The feelings we used to share

I have no regrets in all that has happened

But it’s not like I don’t care

I still have lingering feelings, I still think of you

I still wonder about the “what ifs,” but not anymore of the “I do.”

Though we’ve parted, though we won’t speak again

Just know that in my heart

There’s a special place for you

 

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One Question

Re-post; Revised

“Can I ask for one thing back?”

“What?”

I remember walking through the park where the ducks swam in the pond. I remember walking by you, thinking about how gorgeous you looked. The way your hair covered your eyes and the way your smile sparkled. But I walked on by because I thought there was no chance for me to be with you. So I passed by you, with no intention of even saying hi, but then you took my hand and asked for my name.

You told me you’ve never seen a smile like mine. You told me you’ve never seen eyes as twinkling as mine. You told me you’ve never seen cheeks blush as red as mine.

Before I knew it, we were talking and walking. Laughing and smiling, talking about anything and everything. Then you took me to this secret place beyond the tree and said that this was where you go to whenever you wanted to be alone. You said that you wanted to be alone with me.

So we sat on the bridge and watched the river flow beneath us. We echoed the forest with our laughter and words, over powering the tweets and chirps of Mother Nature. We talked all day until it got dark; we talked all night until I had to go home.

You walked me to my broke down house and asked for my number but I said no. Then the next day when I woke up, you were still there all covered with snow. You said you wouldn’t leave and would have done whatever it would take; you said nothing could move you and that you wouldn’t break. I swear, I think I tripped just a bit for you there.

I smiled at you, told you I’ll meet you after school. I smiled at you, thinking to myself wow, I’m such a fool.

When I came back home, you were still there. Whether you moved or not, I didn’t know, but I did know that your face lit up when you saw me and I know that mine did too. You said you were going to take me to the movies and that I had no choice. You said I could pick the film and you wouldn’t complain.

Two weeks, three weeks, four weeks passed…

You finally asked me to be your girl and I said I don’t know.

Why, you asked, while we were at a show. I just looked away and didn’t reply for days.

Two weeks passed, I haven’t seen you at my door. I thought maybe you wanted from me, nothing more. But the next day, you showed up with a dozen white roses. You said that with each passing breath without me, a door closes. There are no more open doors for you without me, and without my love you just wouldn’t be able to breathe.

I fell for you; truly, completely, head over heels. I gave you my heart, I gave you my soul. I gave you everything I had, I gave it my whole.

Two years has gone by when you took my hand and led me to the forest of the bridge and trees. You said this was where we first spent our day, and this is where we’ll spend our last… I didn’t know what was going on; I didn’t know what was happening. But you smiled at me and said everything would be okay.  Then you said goodbye. You told me that I wasn’t to follow, I wasn’t to speak. I wasn’t to move till half past three.

You called me that morning at two AM. You said you were sorry and that you should be damned. I wanted an explanation; I wanted to know… What was so wrong that you had to go? You told me you’ll meet me, but not today. You said somehow, you’ll find some way.

Days, weeks, months… I waited for you. I waited for a sign, a signal, a clue.

Then your friend, he came up to me. Handed me a letter and said he was sorry. I opened it and found a picture… It was of you holding a baby with someone else and beneath it said, “I was always with her.”

I didn’t know what to do, what to say… I still don’t remember what I did till today.

But then I saw your face, standing on that bridge with such grace.

That hair, still upon your cheeks. Your eyes, still sparkling with glee. There were so many questions I wanted to ask. So many things I wanted to know. But instead I asked you one thing and one thing only.

“Can I have my heart back?”

To my Best Friend

Must you always make things so hard?
I love you as a friend, just understand
Caring isn’t hard for me to do
How hard is it for you?
Any time of any day, I’d be there for you
Every second of every minute, I’d hold you in my arms
Love is something I give freely and

Giving trust is something I do not
Enlighten me with your feelings and thoughts, because
Very often, more that naught,
I give you all of mine
Never less and always more and
God knows what’s in my heart.

🙂

Friends with Benefits…

The thing about Friends With Benefits I’ve realized… You have to have the benefits first and then become friends. Because then, sex wouldn’t mean as much.  If you were friends first and then had benefits, the benefits or even thoughts of them, would be awkward, especially if you’re really great friends! Just a thought that came into my mind the other night.

Dec. 4th

This life so hard

The things unknown

I’m tired of being played

By people and life

I almost lost it all

But not quite yet

And in my hands I hold

something unsure of yet

Where I’m heading

I dare not ask

Do I even care?

Just throw me under and leave me there

Stuck under a bridge

Trapped in a cage

No one can hear my cries

In an isolated place

The ground so white

Slowly turning red

And my bare hands are left to bled

Does no one care?

Is no one there?

To pick up this soulless being

And get me out of here?

I Care

I don’t love you… but I care for you
I don’t know you… but I want to

I want to help you with all my heart
I want to be there for you
And I can’t really understand why

Maybe it’s just who I am
Maybe it’s just what I do
But something about you makes me want to reach out
And give you the best that the world can offer

I don’t love you, but somehow I found myself caring
I tell myself that there’s something in you
Something I believe in, trust in
And I think I just want you to believe in yourself

Don’t let anyone else bring you down
Don’t let any judgements affect who you are
Because I truly believe you are a great person
I truly believe you will be a better person

I care for you
That’s all I know
And I want the best for you
Please know…

To My Dear Friends

I give so much, get so involved

I care too much, but it’s not enough

I think too much, giving my heart dispairs

And all I want is for you to be happy

Find your way, get back up

Stop going back to the past, and just move on

Life’s unfair, it’ll fuck you over

But get back up, you’re not dead yet

Don’t you see that you got me?

 

It’s not the same, I know

I’m not the same, I know

And I won’t change, I know

But I’m still here, please know…

 

The pain’s still raw

But your heart won’t burst

The tears may come, but lean on me

        and let it out

Vicious thoughts bout your ex

But the heart still care and full of regrets

 

So make mistakes!!

Get it dont

Then right those wrongs before they’re gone

There’s only so much you can do

Only so much you can say

But at the end of the day

You just gotta say,

              “Gotta move on…”

Hold onto those memories, but let go of the past

Emotions are strong, but the will is stronger

I believe in you

Believe in yourself.

 

Life life happily.

 

~MLor

Your Choices

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I remember when I was your age

Tryna always turnt up

Look where I’m at now,

Tryna get some luck

 

Livin’ life day by day

Every day’s a struggle

All this work and ain’t no play

 

This where you wanna end up??

 

Fix it right, get it right, girl

Cuz you’re still young

Live it right

Don’t act like you rule the world

 

Learn the truth

Keep it humble

From black to white,

 

GET NOBLE

Not Alone

If you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom

If you don’t know how to get back up

You’re not alone

Persevere.

God is there

Times can be rough and tough

Life and love may seem unfair

But people care

You’re not alone

If you gotta move a mountain

You won’t do it by yourself

If a burden is too heavy

It’s not just yours alone

Don’t be unhappy

For you’re not alone

I Already Know

Where do we stand?

Toe to toe or side to side?

Will you be willing to look into my eyes?

I wonder where your heart is

I wonder where your thoughts go

When you look at me, do you see someone else?

Are you wishing for ghosts?

I can see it in your eyes, turning darker into the night

When you’re feeling sad, growing stronger from memories

You slowly close me off and say goodnight

I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to go

But what choice do I have when you’re moving me to the door?

I take your hand and you don’t let go

But I know your mind is off somewhere else

Your love is far, your senses dimmed

And I know what you won’t say…